


Sessions at Five

by tremmy_chii



Category: GOT7
Genre: Age Difference, Don't copy to another site, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Underage Sex, bambam is 17-18, it's not super explicit but, jaebum is 21, the age of consent is 20 in south korea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-14 20:14:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18059303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tremmy_chii/pseuds/tremmy_chii
Summary: “Thank you so much for looking after my baby brother. You don't know how much it relieves me to know he's in good hands,” Jinyoung sighs, shoulders sagging.Jaebum throws an arm around his shoulder and squeezes encouragingly. “Don't mention it. I'm happy to help.”(Jaebum tutors Bambam every Monday, Wednesday, Friday at five o'clock sharp. What they do, is their secret. This is their beginning.)





	Sessions at Five

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ellenbridget](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellenbridget/gifts).



> WARNING: Underage Sex. Bambam is 17-18 here but Jaebum is 21. The age of consent in South Korea is 20. 
> 
> This is fiction, so kids, don't do what they do.
> 
> Prompt: "Bambam being in a relationship with his father's coworker, brother's friend, or just any relationship that has to be kept hidden."

 

 

A loud honk blasts through the afternoon at the end of the street, alerting quite a few pedestrians, but the intersection remains stuck with stragglers despite the red light. Bambam looks up from his phone and lifts his back off the brick wall to check out the commotion. Upon the sight of an old 2005 Honda, Bambam snorts with a smile and grabs his backpack from the floor. He quickly makes his way down the sidewalk, certain that Jinyoung is probably even more pissed at the fact that Bambam had the time to get here before the car could even move. Jinyoung reaches over to manually unlock the door - because the controls on the driver's side have been busted ages ago - and Bambam throws himself right into the passenger's seat.

 

“Hi hyung. Thanks for the ride,” Bambam repeats out of custom, yanking the seatbelt on after removing his jacket.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jinyoung dismisses him with a vague twirl of his hand. He turns off the right turn signal and narrows his eyes for a second when he realizes they're going to be stuck for another light. “How was school, Bammie?”

 

“The usual. Yugyeom asked me to go to a PC bang later.”

 

“It's Friday,” Jinyoung frowns, as if that's enough of an explanation for disapproval. Well, it kind of is. Bambam already has a strict schedule he adheres to every day, for every month this year.

 

“I know. I said no,” Bambam shrugs. He looks out the window for a second, deciding whether he wants some fresh air or to suffer under this weird, cheap car freshener Jinyoung oddly likes.

 

Jinyoung's frown actually deepens in response. The light turns green, and he steps on the gas. “Well,” he starts slowly, about a street after. “You can go if you want. We'll just have to make rearrangements for the weekend.”

 

Bambam blinks at him with mild surprise. He actually had no desire to take on Yugyeom's offer, but the fact that Jinyoung is allowing him to go is sparking interest inside him. It's rare that Jinyoung would agree to something like this, so it makes Bambam want to jump on the opportunity, just for the sake of it. “Really?”

 

Jinyoung nods, eyes on the road. “It's okay for you to go play with your friends once in a while.”

 

Bambam huffs, throwing on a pout. “'Go play.’ you make it sound like I'm a child.”

 

“Aren't you?” Jinyoung remarks with a raised eyebrow.

 

“You're only three years older!” Bambam crosses his arms.

 

Jinyoung smiles amusedly, but his tone is serious when he says, “And Mom left you in _my_ care. I'm your guardian as long as we're in the city. Who puts the food on the table here?”

 

“I do,” Bambam replies bluntly, the corners of his lips turning upwards. He does all the cooking, aside from basic things like making rice or boiling water. Jinyoung handles those tasks with pride. “Essentials of life,” he calls them.

 

“Ah-ah,” Jinyoung tuts. “Who _buys_ the food on the table?” He corrects.

 

“You do,” Bambam rolls his eyes, letting his brother win this one.

 

Jinyoung smiles with satisfaction, eye whiskers threatening to appear.

 

“I think I'll pass. I don't really know Yugyeom's friends that well.”

 

“Since when were you shy?”

 

“I'm not _shy_. I just don't want to deal with meeting new people right now.”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

Before they head to their usual route, Jinyoung asks, “Do you want something to eat? Or a drink?”

 

Bambam perks up. “Yeah. Can we?” He taps through his phone with deft fingers. “I'll ask hyung what he wants,” he says, already on it. And, send.

 

Jinyoung side-eyes him. Trust Bambam to ask others what they want as if he was the one treating them when the actual source is Jinyoung's pocket. It's one of the many drawbacks of being an older sibling. “How can you ask if we haven't picked where to go yet?”

 

“Don't we always go to Auntie's?” Bambam looks at him with his doe eyes.

 

Well. Yeah. “Not _always_.” Jinyoung squeezes the steering wheel. “But yes, we are going there.”

 

It’s been about two years since they’ve become regulars. Jinyoung used to work at the convenience store next door, and would walk the long distance to pick up Bambam from school when they didn’t have a car yet. The middle-aged woman there had immediately developed a soft spot for Bambam - because he was already starting the first year of high school and was noticeably _so small_ compared to her nephews and nieces. Bambam’s obviously gone through a growth spurt by now, but much like anyone who’s known him at that tender age, he’s still doted on like a baby.

 

Especially Jinyoung.

 

Bambam might be big enough to be worrying about the college entrance exam now, but Jinyoung will never forget the day their mother came late to kindergarten with a small toddler sleeping against her chest. Jinyoung wailed and let go of his teacher’s hand, running to grab onto his mother’s leg. He was going to demand to be picked up, to throw a tantrum about _being abandoned_ , until he noticed a baby already there. He stopped crying, purely out of shock more than anything else.

 

It took roughly a month for Jinyoung to understand that Bambam was going to be a part of their family forever. It took another two years for Jinyoung to understand who was really abandoned that day. And he couldn’t believe it, as Bambam handed him half a tangerine he peeled all by himself, how anyone could leave Bambam behind.

 

Bambam smirks and slouches comfortably into his seat for the rest of the ride. He continues to text someone - probably Chan, if Jinyoung had to guess. Those two never seem to stop talking. Jinyoung’s driven them to Hongdae once to go watch Yugyeom pull a one-hour busker with his dance crew and there wasn’t even a single second of silence in the car.

 

They get their food and drinks, sit through the inevitable coddling by the kind restaurant owner, and hop right back into the car. By the time Jinyoung pulls up to a moderately nice apartment, they’re still on schedule. He’ll make it to his class at five with time to spare.

 

“I’ll get your books.” Jinyoung is out and diving into the backseat before hearing Bambam’s reply.

 

Bambam slings his backpack over one shoulder in the meantime and closes all the doors for his brother. With a beep of the car, they take the few steps past the fence and front lawn and ring the doorbell. The white door opens within the minute.

 

“Hey, hyung!” Jinyoung grins. “I’m here for the usual trash disposal.” He nudges Bambam forward.

 

Bambam whips his head around and growls at Jinyoung while Jaebum snickers by the door frame. He looks more like an angry puppy than anything menacing. “I _knew_ you were being too nice.”

 

Jaebum takes the books from Jinyoung. “At your service,” he jokingly salutes.

 

“We got you some food while we were on the way.” He looks at Bambam, who gets the hint and raises the to-go boxes in his hand for emphasis.

 

“Yeah, thanks Jinyoung-ah.”

 

“No problem! Pay attention and learn, okay?” Jinyoung directs the last part at Bambam.

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Bambam sighs tiredly.

 

“You should get going before you’re late,” Jaebum reminds Jinyoung gently.

 

“On it,” Jinyoung nods. “I’ll drop by at seven as usual unless something happens. See you both later!” He waves goodbye.

 

“Bye, hyung,” Bambam waves back. He and Jaebum watch Jinyoung drive and turn at the corner before heading inside. Bambam takes off his shoes and puts the food down on the dining table. Then, he follows Jaebum into his room, who is already a step ahead in putting all of Bambam's preparatory exam books on his desk.

 

Bambam closes the door behind him and sets his backpack on the floor. He looks up, and Jaebum is already staring at him while leaning on the table. His face is deceptively soft, serene and handsome as he smiles upon Bambam and pulls out the chair, twirling it to face him in invitation.

 

“Are you ready?” Jaebum asks vaguely.

 

But Bambam knows.

 

He lowers his gaze, fingers curling up against his long sleeves. “Yes, hyung.”

 

-

 

After speeding up and snatching a parking space before the other red car can, Jinyoung locks his car with a smug smile. They’ve been silently competing against each other for at least two laps around the parking structure before Jinyoung noticed a girl coming down the stairs with her keys jangling by her side.

 

He does a double-take through his window - and sees that Bambam’s left his hoodie in the car. Jinyoung often tries to hold back from acting too much like a _parent_ , but he can’t help worrying that Bambam will get cold. Hopefully it’s not so bad inside Jaebum’s house.

 

The jacket looks familiar, but it’s not a jacket Jinyoung remembers Bambam owning either. Hm.

 

Well, he better get to class. Medicinal chemistry isn’t something he can slack off on.

 

-

 

“Last question,” Jaebum announces.

 

Bambam bites down a huge sigh of relief and closes his eyes, breathing in deeply to try and relax as Jaebum reads out the passage. He lists out the answer choices, and Bambam patiently waits to hear the whole thing.

 

“...D, all of the above.” His body is shaking, but as least his voice isn't.

 

“Is that your final answer?”

 

“Yes.” His nails scratch along the dark wooden desk uselessly, trying to find some sort of purchase to no avail.

 

Jaebum hums with approval and closes the practice test. He hovers over Bambam, whose torso is bent over the desk, and whispers against his ear. “ _Good_ _boy_.”

 

Bambam shivers, aching to be touched, but weak for the praise. He blinks a few times, trying to get rid of the mist in his eyes with a slight pout on his pink lips.

 

Jaebum finally, _finally_ slips a third finger in and swirls his wrist to stretch the muscle loose, warm lubricant spilling down Bambam's right thigh. Bambam lets out a small, needy noise, involuntarily clenching around Jaebum's fingers.

 

“I’m so proud of you,” Jaebum murmurs sweetly. “You must’ve studied so hard, just like I asked you to.” He mouths along Bambam’s neck, and then kisses down his spine with purpose. He hikes Bambam’s leg up on the desk by holding on to the back of his knee, pulling his fingers out and lining his cock against Bambam’s entrance before he can get a chance to complain.

 

From here, Bambam is all his.

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t always like this.

  


 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

When Jinyoung got accepted to Seoul National University, he was the joy and pride of the entire town.

 

Not many ever leave and move to the city, and even less get to go to one of the prestigious SKY universities. It’s just “impossible” to compete with the city folk, who all send their kids to hagwons from as early as ten years old. For _months_ before his departure, he received praise and favor everywhere he went, be it from the uncle offering to pump air into his flat bicycle tire for free or getting an extra fish in the morning to go with the rest of his purchase at the market. Jinyoung was extremely flattered. He was on top of the world. He felt like he could get anything he wanted and maybe even remodel their home after he got a degree and a nice job.

 

Jinyoung thought long and hard about their future and presented his thoughts one night at the dinner table.

 

“Mom,” he looked at her in the eye, then at his dad, “Dad.” Bambam was still scooping rice for everyone, making nice dome shapes in the bowls. “I want Bambam to come with me to Seoul.”

 

Bambam walked into the thick tension obliviously, balancing four rice bowls total in his two hands.

 

-

 

As wholesome and as lovely as the small town was, it was still a small town. Jinyoung had always thought it was too narrow-minded for someone like his brother.

 

Bambam wasn't like the other boys his age. Well, he wasn't like any boy in any age there. Where boys were expected to help their fathers in the field or make bait for the fish before sunrise, Bambam was hiding somewhere to draw or to read fashion blogs. It got him into a lot of trouble with their dad - and Jinyoung could only cover for him one so many times - until he gave up completely, realizing Bambam was too much of a free spirit to be chained down to the country life. Ironically, he started to help out more once their father stopped punishing him for wanting to focus on his own interests.

 

“I just didn't like being told what to do,” Bambam said once, and Jinyoung just snorted and laughed.

 

Jinyoung thought – and still thinks – that they were very lucky to have such lenient and open-minded parents. They never stopped Jinyoung when he picked up a book rather than a fork, or berated Bambam for playing with the neighborhood girls and coming home with his nails poorly painted. They didn’t do nearly as much field work as those their age would have, and people gossiped about them being raised poorly, or without enough discipline. It must have been hard and brave of their parents to stand tall in the eyes of others and say, “There is nothing wrong with our sons.”

 

And then there was the problem with Bambam’s peers at school. When Bambam was fourteen, he wore a new pink sweater to the first day of school. It had two, small white bows on the inner wrist bands of the sleeves. Discrete, but cute. Jinyoung helped him pick it out and combined their allowances for the week to get it too.

 

Jinyoung got home later because of a student council meeting (a board made of just five kids, really), and was surprised to find Bambam kneeling in a corner with his arms raised in clear punishment. Jinyoung didn't dare ask his mom what happened, for the house was much too quiet to be safe. One wrong move and he could end up raising his arms too.

 

Later into the night, Jinyoung interrogated Bambam himself.

 

“What happened?”

 

Bambam didn't say anything.

 

“Hey, c’mon.” Jinyoung ruffled his hair.

 

“Stop!” Bambam jerked away and angrily smoothed his hair down. He stomped up the ladder to his bunk bed and made big, loud movements with his blanket until he was completely cocooned underneath.

 

Jinyoung frowned. It wasn't like him to throw a fit. “First day didn't go well?”

 

The cocoon curled up even smaller.

 

“You know you can tell me anything,” Jinyoung coaxed. It took ten minutes of continual cajoling before Jinyoung noticed a pink sleeve peeping out of the laundry basket beneath a pile of everything else. Now that he thought of it - Bambam wasn't wearing that when he got home. He pulled it out curiously - but what he saw induced a flame of rage.

 

“ _Who did this_?”

 

The arms were all cut up, and the entire sweater looked like it was dragged through mud.

 

Jinyoung's hands fisted around the material until they turned white.

 

“Bambam.” His voice was stern, laced with anger. He took the few strides back to the bunk bed and grabbed onto Bambam's navy duvet through the metal bars. “Talk to me.” He yanked - and being older, stronger, the duvet slipped from Bambam's grip.

 

Jinyoung's heart dropped, face falling immediately.

 

Bambam was trying very hard not to cry, red from swallowing down hiccups and breathing shallow, hot air from the covers.

 

Jinyoung climbed up the ladder and wrapped his arms around him.

 

“It's okay. Don't cry. It's okay.”

 

“Sorry, hyung,” Bambam said miserably. “It got ruined.”

 

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Jinyoung promised without fanfare, without thinking of how he’d have to save up for a few weeks to get that kind of money again.

 

“No, they’ll just do it again, those ugly fuckers.”

 

Jinyoung let the profanity slide just one time… mostly because he was cursing up a storm inside his head too and couldn’t tell the difference between his thoughts and Bambam’s words after finding out that his brother was being _bullied_. Unfortunately – or fortunately – Jinyoung could already conjure a few faces as the culprits. He could teach them a lesson or two.

 

But – “Wait, why were you in trouble?” Jinyoung questioned.

 

Bambam was silent for a moment before answering. “Because I kicked them in the crotch in front of the whole class and Mom had to come and bail me out of suspension. She said I should use my words, not my fists, to fight my battles.”

 

Oh.

 

Jinyoung hid his laughter in the blanket, shoulders slightly shaking.

 

He was pretty proud of Bambam, if he’s not going to lie.

 

-

 

For _months_ before Jinyoung and Bambam’s move to Seoul, Jinyoung had to convince their parents every step of the way and beg for their signatures on transfer papers that he’d already filled out. It was one thing to send Jinyoung away, but Bambam too? Now _that_ was just unheard of. Expenses were going to be extremely tight.

 

But he did it.

 

And he knew he did the right thing when he picked Bambam up for the first time and received a smile made of pure sunshine. Bambam _flourished_ in the city, where diversity enabled him to truly be himself. Jinyoung can only hope that he will be able to get into a good university too, if only to relieve their parents of their worries for this drastic move.

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung has always prided in himself as a good brother. He loves Bambam. And maybe he’s just a _tad_ protective, but Bambam doesn’t ever blame him for that.

 

March, the year that Bambam turns eighteen, is when things begin to fall apart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

“What’d you get?” Chan turns around in his desk the moment the lunch bell rings. He sees the score and whistles before Bambam can hide his test. “Wow, thirty-five out of forty?”

 

“Dang!” Yugyeom chimes in, tipping his chair sideways to see. “The smarts really do run in your family, huh?” The “22” sitting on his desk looks sad in comparison, but studying isn’t really Yugyeom’s forte. Not to imply that Yugyeom ever studies.

 

“I was adopted,” Bambam snorts amusedly.

 

“Same difference,” Chan waves his hand, dismissing Bambam’s point. “Good job, dude. Gimme five.”

 

Not really – Bambam always gets the urge to hide everything under 90% from his brother because he knows it’s not good enough. Jinyoung won’t outrightly say it, but Bambam can tell by the blankness in his expression. His disappointment is silent, but potent. Still, Bambam accepts the compliment and does the secret handshake with Chan. Yugyeom scoots over, so Bambam gives him one too.

 

“Thanks,” Bambam smiles.

 

“Geez, every time I look at your scantron, I get _tired_. Swear to God, never seen anyone else take up as many boxes as you do to fill out their name,” Yugyeom groans.

 

“How do you think I feel?” Bambam sighs. Even he thinks “Park Bhuwakul Kunpimook Bambam” is a mouthful, but he understands and appreciates the fact that his mom and dad kept his birth name to remind him of his roots. He’s practically a full-fledged Korean at this point, but it’s a nice gesture.

 

“Let’s go get lunch. I’ve been _starving_ since gym this morning,” Chan frowns at his stomach, which growls as if on cue.

 

“Uh, didn’t you sneak a granola bar during math?” Bambam raises an eyebrow. He literally sits right behind Chan, of course that wouldn’t go unnoticed.

 

“It’s a _granola bar_!” Chan leans back, affronted. “That’s desperate rations. I need real food, like rice.”

 

“Or a hamburger,” Yugyeom nods.

 

“Or a hamburger,” Chan agrees.

 

Bambam shoves his test into his backpack. “Okay, let’s go dummies.”

 

“Hey! Just because you got a better score doesn’t mean we’re dumb…”

 

Bambam giggles and drowns out their arguments as they walk down the hallway, letting himself get pushed around a little because he definitely called for it. Yugyeom throws his arm around Bambam as usual, and Bambam deals with the added weight on his side as usual.

 

They meet Yerin and Jimin on the way to the cafeteria, so the volume of their conversation gets significantly louder.

 

“Oh,” Yerin stares at Bambam’s lips. “That’s a very nice color. What is it?”

 

Bambam perks up, flattered. “Thanks!” He digs into his uniform slacks to show her the tinted balm. “It’s new from Tony Moly. It’s cheap, too.” He flips his hand over to have it rest on his open palm, letting Yerin pick it up and pop the cap open.

 

“…Isn’t that unsanitary?” Chan stares at Yerin, who’s applying the balm while looking into a hand mirror, in disgust.

 

“Not if you’re friends – oh that _is_ pretty,” Jimin admires Yerin.

 

At the end of the school day, Chan, Yerin, and Jimin walk to attend the cram school that their parents have enrolled them in. Yugyeom bikes to get to a dance studio. Bambam waits by the gate until he hears a honk and heads home.

 

“Hi, Bammie,” Jinyoung greets him as soon as he gets in the car. “How’s school?”

 

“Good.” Bambam bites on his lip. “Thanks for the ride, hyung. How’s your day so far?”

 

“I’m going to die,” Jinyoung bemoans dramatically to the steering wheel. “Everyone hates me.”

 

Bambam proceeds to pretend he understands every technical term Jinyoung uses to describe his misery in his research group, but the story is enjoyable to listen to nonetheless. He almost forgets about the test in his backpack. Almost.

 

Jinyoung drops him off at their apartment and promises to come back by seven.

 

-

 

“I’m home!” Jinyoung accidentally lets go of the door too soon, and it slams shut. The two of them wince, knowing that the neighbor upstairs _definitely_ heard that. Oops. “What are we having for dinner?” He asks as he dumps his tote bag full of textbooks on the floor and heads to the kitchen, where Bambam is cutting the last of their kimchi by the counter. They'll have to go grocery shopping soon… and probably ask their mom for the recipe. Again.

 

“Fried rice.”

 

“Nice,” Jinyoung approves. He puts his lunch box in the sink to wash later. It kind of drives Bambam crazy to see dirty dishes in the sink, but Jinyoung doesn't understand the rush if he's going to do them all later anyway. Why wet his hands twice when he only has to once? “Do you need help?”

 

Bambam shakes his head. “It's okay. I bet you have a lot to do.”

 

Jinyoung immediately deflates. “I do,” he admits sadly. “My professor wants a report by next week. I really should've taken the warnings I got about working under him.”

 

“You can do it, hyung. You're smart.”

 

“It's not about being smart – I'm _tired_.” Jinyoung takes his bulky laptop out and presses the power button. He settles into the dining table – which often duos as their working table – and waits for the blasted thing to wake up. Sometimes a hit or two makes it go faster. “I wish there were more hours in a day.”

 

“Meh,” Bambam shrugs. He slides the kimchi into the hot oil.

 

Jinyoung starts typing while Bambam cooks in the background, the sound of the wooden paddle breaking down white rice in sync with his foot taps.

 

“Say, have you thought about which college you want to attend yet?” Jinyoung suddenly asks.

 

Bambam's grip on the paddle tightens. “Uhm – kind of? Not really…?”

 

He can already feel Jinyoung's judgmental stare on his back.

 

“The entrance exam is very soon, Bambam.”

 

“That's in November, hyung. It's only March.”

 

“It's _already_ March,” Jinyoung corrects. “Did you study while I was gone?”

 

Bambam sighs quietly. “Of course I did.” He's trying. He really is.

 

“Okay.” After a beat, “What about SNU? It would be convenient since I can show you around!”

 

Jinyoung is talking about getting into the top university in Korea as if it's so _easy_. Bambam _isn't_ Jinyoung. He can't achieve the same perfect records like his brother did. Even if he studies, his results don't always end up spectacular. Today's result is a prime example of that. He knows his grades aren't bad, but they aren't good enough either.

 

Bambam's stomach twists. “That's… I don't know. I don't think I can do it…”

 

Jinyoung frowns. “Of course you can, Bam. You just have to try.”

 

Bambam doesn't respond, afraid that letting the conversation go any further will lead to him lashing out on Jinyoung in frustration. He gets what Jinyoung is saying, but at the same time…

 

Ugh.

 

“Dinner's ready,” he announces instead.

 

-

 

Later that night, as Bambam takes his turn in the shower, Jinyoung sneaks a peek at Bambam's open work on the table. A stapled packet hangs in between the pages of a textbook, and Jinyoung flips it open in curiosity.

 

35/40.

 

He quietly puts it back in the position he found it in and goes back to his seat.

 

Bambam eventually comes back, and they do their homework in silence. At midnight, Bambam heads to bed first.

 

“Good night, hyung,” he yawns.

 

“Good night, Bam-ah. I love you,” Jinyoung makes a kissy face at him.

 

Bambam's “ewww” rings throughout the hallway, and Jinyoung chuckles fondly.

 

-

 

Then, Jinyoung freaks out.

 

-

 

“I'm a failure,” Jinyoung deadpans, nearly a week later with dark circles under his eyes. “I'm a horrible brother. I will never live this down.”

 

“Oh, _shut up_ ,” Wonpil rolls his eyes, mouth full of his sandwich. “Quit being so dramatic.”

 

“I'm not dramatic if it's _true_. Bambam needs help and I can't even give up my time to help him. What am I _doing_?”

 

“Great,” Hyunwoo answers. “You're doing great. I think you're a wonderful older brother. I don't know of anyone else who cares and sacrifices more for their sibling.”

 

“But!” Jinyoung splutters, “Haven't you been listening? He needs more support – like tutoring or something. But I can't afford the tuition for a hagwon. My position doesn't pay enough for any more expenses.”

 

Wonpil cocks an eyebrow. “His grades aren't _bad_. He doesn't have to go to SKY like us, you know. Lots of people succeed without going to college too.”

 

“He doesn't have to, but if he does, wouldn't that be so much better?” Jinyoung clutches his head. Neither of them can argue with that. “What week is it? Should I drop a class? That would give me more time every day to go home and sit down with him.”

 

“Drop a class?” Wonpil's eye twitches. “No, are you crazy? You're taking core chemistry classes right now.”

 

“ _But_ –!”

 

“I wouldn't recommend that either,” Hyunwoo says in his ever-so gentle voice.

 

“Surely there's a cheaper option out there that you can afford.” Wonpil's eyes widen as he remembers something. “Hey, actually, why don't you ask Jaebum if he still teaches part-time at this one academy?”

 

It takes a moment for the information to click. “Jaebum hyung used to teach?”

 

“From what I remember, yeah,” Wonpil nods. “He had the time and was overqualified. Maybe he can get you a discount or something. Butter him up with food.”

 

Jinyoung can definitely see Jaebum as a good teacher. They’ve only met last year, so they currently stand somewhere between the edge of regular friends and close friends. They see each other for lunch sometimes in a group setting, and Jinyoung does have a lot of respect for him. Jaebum is an incredibly bright student – probably the best in the engineering department. Jinyoung wouldn’t be surprised. They had a literature elective together to get rid of the general graduation requirements and Jinyoung remembers always being amazed by what Jaebum had to say and what he had to add to the discussion.

 

Can Jinyoung really ask him for such a big favor though?

 

“He was one of the twelve who got a perfect score on the CSAT,” Hyunwoo adds.

 

“He did?!” Jinyoung’s jaw drops. Sure, Jinyoung was in the top two percentile – a requirement for admission – but what’s that compared to literally _number one_? “He must be crazy.”

 

“Who?”

 

Jinyoung jumps, and absolutely does not scream at the sound of Jaebum’s voice right behind him, who is now looping over to slide into the open seat next to Hyunwoo.

 

“Speak of the devil,” Wonpil grins.

 

“Hi,” Jinyoung greets awkwardly, causing Jaebum to raise his eyebrow.

 

“Hey. What’s up?” Jaebum asks generally, unwrapping what seems to be a pork bun.

 

Before Jinyoung can reply “Nothing much,” Wonpil beats him to it.

 

“Jinyoung wants you to give him a discount at your academy.”

 

Jinyoung smiles tightly at Wonpil, eyes bright with murder. Wonpil winks back, as if to say, “you’re welcome.”

 

Jaebum furrows his eyebrows. “What, the one for the CSAT?”

 

Wonpil and Hyunwoo nod. Despite being reluctant to ask for something so burdensome, Jinyoung is still shamelessly anticipating Jaebum’s answer since it’s out in the open anyway.

 

“Sorry, I quit a month ago.”

 

“ _Aw_ ,” Wonpil says pitifully as Jinyoung sighs.

 

Jaebum glances between their reactions curiously. “Why? What’s with the long sigh?”

 

“I’m worried about my brother – the entrance exam is pretty soon and want him to do well. I think he needs extra help – and I’d do it myself but it’s hard to find time between all my classes and working under Professor Kim. If I knew he’d give so many work hours I wouldn’t have signed up for it.”

 

“Oh… so you want to send him to cram school.”

 

“I do…” Jinyoung frowns. But he can’t afford it. The prices they charge are ridiculously steep. It’s no wonder there’s such an awful class disparity in education. “We’re already barely scaping by on my mom and dad’s paychecks. I use the leftover scholarship funds each semester to cover food and gas.”

 

Jaebum considers his situation with an apologetic gaze.

 

Wonpil slaps his back, probably an attempt at being comforting, and says, “It’s okay man. The circumstances just aren’t in your favor. Besides, maybe Bambam will pull through – you say he’s pretty smart, right?”

 

“He is. He’s a great kid,” Jinyoung pokes his side dish around sadly.

 

“Actually…”

 

Jinyoung looks up –

 

“I might be able to help,” Jaebum smiles sheepishly.

 

– and sees an angel.

 

-

 

“I have _exciting_ news for you!” Jinyoung grins giddily behind the wheel.

 

“Are you getting me a new phone?” Bambam gasps and imitates Jinyoung’s expression.

 

“What – no,” Jinyoung scoffs. “The one you have is fine.”

 

“Hyung, it has 12 GB total and that’s literally _nothing_. I download one app and – _poof_ – ‘low storage, would you like to clear some cached data?’”

 

“Why do you need so many apps? All I use is Kakaotalk and a browser.”

 

“This is why you're so boring –!”

 

“–Anyway,” Jinyoung cuts him off with narrow eyes, “I got you a tutor! _Yay_!”

 

Bambam stares at Jinyoung, unimpressed. “Wow. _Yay_ ,” he says dryly.

 

“Hey, I know. You won't like it now but you'll thank me later when your scores come out in December.”

 

Bambam shuffles uncomfortably. “I don't think I _need_ a tutor… isn't it super expensive to hire someone?”

 

“Mm, but my friend is offering to look over your studying at a fraction of the cost. He's an amazing person – I think he'll really help you learn more efficiently than just you sticking your nose in a book all day. We're so lucky he's nice enough to do this for you.”

 

Bambam looks out the window, humming in agreement to whatever Jinyoung is saying when appropriate. He thinks of some of his friends, like Yugyeom, and how lucky they are to not have to worry about racing and competing to get to the top of the socioeconomic hierarchy. Bambam wishes he had a talent for something, just so he can escape from the terror of mediocracy.

 

But he doesn’t want to go home either. Their father makes a humble living by fishing in the frozen lakes. He’s not cut out for that kind of life – nor can he stand being around the boys from childhood that he’d been so eager to leave behind.

 

It’s so _boring_ either way. The country life is too quiet, but the city life is not what he expected it to be at all. It’s so _stifling_. The people here are obsessed with school. The novelty of skyscrapers and big malls only last for a few days, and he’s been here for a good two years.

 

For now, the best course of action is to follow Jinyoung’s footsteps. After all, he _is_ trying so hard to get Bambam to succeed. His standards are a little high, that’s all.

 

-

 

“Hey!”

 

Bambam looks over his shoulder and sees Chan running up to him. “Hey,” he greets back with a smile, letting Chan hook their arms together.

 

“I’m gonna skip cram today,” Chan wiggles his eyebrows. “Let’s go hit the karaoke.”

 

“Who else is going – aw, wait,” Bambam face-palms. “I need to go to tutoring. I keep forgetting about it.”

 

“Tutoring? Since when do you go to tutoring?”

 

“Since now,” Bambam clicks his tongue. “Jinyoung hyung seemed really excited about sending me to my end.”

 

“Seriously,” Chan agrees. “I don’t get why everyone just studies all day. There’s so much more to life, man!” He shoves his hand into his pocket and pauses. “Oh shit, where’s my wallet?”

 

“Pft. Go check your locker,” Bambam lets go of their linked arms with a chuckle.

 

“Right – you should skip too! Everyone’s coming. You definitely don’t wanna miss out!” Chan calls out to him while walking backwards.

 

Bambam shakes his head. “It’s the first day; I can’t skip. Thanks for the invite though! Save me a spot next time.”

 

“Dang.” Chan pouts. “Aight, next time for sure!”

 

Bambam waves him goodbye and turns to exit the school through a side gate. It’s been a hassle to go through the front nowadays – entertainment scouts keep loitering around the gates waiting to pounce on any attractive student naïve enough to get trapped under their aggressive tactics. Bambam’s been a victim twice already, and Yerin was there to witness it both times. He’s been growing out of his “cute” phase and leaning more towards “pretty” now, she’d noted. It was flattering at first to be acknowledged for his looks, but Bambam has no intention of becoming an idol. If anything, Yugyeom would be a better fit. With some styling and a haircut, he could debut quickly with his dancing skills. Bambam knows that Yugyeom wants to go on the choreographer route though, to work behind the scenes or to tour with an artist at best.

 

Jinyoung picks Bambam up as usual, and they turn at a street Bambam has never been to before. In a few moments, he realizes why – it’s the uptown area for the middle class and up, for people who can actually afford to have a front yard in the middle of Seoul where land is scarce.

 

“Huh,” Jinyoung taps his thumbs on the steering wheel nervously. “I didn’t know Jaebum hyung lives… here.”

 

Even though the street is empty, it feels completely out of place for them to be riding through with an old car like theirs.

 

“Bam, check if I got the address right.”

 

Bambam grabs Jinyoung’s phone from the center console. “It’s right.”

 

“Well then,” Jinyoung purses his lips. He doesn’t finish his sentence after that.

 

They slide into an open parking spot by the curb and get out of the car. Bambam grabs his backpack, assuring Jinyoung for the third time that _yes_ , he’s got everything, _yes_ , he already has a list of topics he struggles in and will ask Jaebum hyung about them.

 

“God, _hyung_ , I’ll ‘behave,’ can you relax?” Bambam frowns.

 

Jinyoung ruffles his hair and ignores his resulting whines. “He’s –!”

 

“–doing us a big favor, I got it. I’m nice _and_ I’m cute, what could possibly happen?” Bambam cups his face and flutters his lashes at Jinyoung.

 

“…Disgusting, don’t do that in front of him.” Jinyoung pushes his face out of the way with a hard finger. Bambam rubs his forehead and pouts, trailing after Jinyoung past the fence.

 

They ring the doorbell.

 

And wait.

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bambam locks eyes with the handsome man beyond the white door, and feels the world tilt beneath him by one degree.

 

It’s subtle. Barely there. The distortedness is gone the moment he blinks.

 

This is the new normal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jaebum sees light before he sees youth. The world tilts a little, but it must be an illusion because everything is just fine a second later.

 

It’s fine.

 

He sees pretty brown eyes before he remembers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

“You can put your stuff here,” Jaebum points towards the desk. It’s bare, save for a succulent and a white mug filled with two pens. It’s been clearly cleaned out for Bambam to sit in.

 

“Okay,” Bambam says quietly. He takes out a prep book he’s been working in, as well as his favorite pencil. The rest of his belongings stay in his backpack on the floor by the leg of the desk. He sits straight in the chair, much like when his homeroom teacher passes by mid-lecture. It’s uncomfortable. He still hasn’t taken off his uniform jacket.

 

“Are you ready?”

 

“Yes, hyung.”

 

-

 

Bambam shows Jaebum what he usually does to study: what he reads, what's his schedule, how he takes his notes, what his previous scores are. He usually does well in history and language, but is sometimes fooled by tricky questions in math. Biology is just a matter of memorization, and chemistry can be covered by Jinyoung if needed.

 

Jaebum gives him forty minutes to write a short critical essay on the fly, and another thirty to complete a multiple choice diagnostic exam in advanced algebra. They finish just in time for Jinyoung to text Bambam that he's coming soon.

 

“So?” Jinyoung glances between the two of them once he's arrived. “How's the first day?”

 

Bambam looks up at Jaebum.

 

“Good,” Jaebum replies kindly and vaguely. He doesn't look back. “You're right, Bambam's a good kid. His notes are better than mine.”

 

Jinyoung squints skeptically. “Really? He doodles on the corner all the time.”

 

“What's wrong with that?” Bambam crosses his arms.

 

“It's childish.” Jinyoung sticks his tongue out.

 

Bambam sticks his out too, mirroring his brother.

 

Jaebum looks down at Bambam. Bambam doesn't look back.

 

-

 

Four weeks pass by without much to say. Based on their first meeting, Jaebum has set up a curriculum for Bambam to stick to based on the subjects he will choose for the CSAT. Mondays are for new material, Wednesdays are for review, and Fridays are for mock exams, which they go over Bambam’s mistakes together immediately.

 

Time in that room works in strange ways.

 

It’s too slow.

 

They don’t talk much, excluding when Jaebum is guiding him through a complicated concept. Hell, they don’t even look at each other. Ever since Bambam met eyes with him for the first time, he gets the feeling that Jaebum is avoiding him for some unknown reason. But he’s not any better. Bambam keeps his eyes on the desk too, also wary of Jaebum’s presence beside him or over his shoulder. The longer he keeps his eyes away, the more he becomes curious about what Jaebum looks like in the moment. Yet there’s a pit in his stomach, telling him no. Don’t do it. Don’t look.

 

It’s also way too fast.

 

Every time Jinyoung picks him up, it almost feels like the past two to three hours have been a part of some elaborate fever dream. The peak of their interactions is when they’re in front of Jinyoung. And that’s only because Jinyoung asks them questions about their day.

 

“He’s already improving. I’m proud of his progress.”

 

“He’s a great teacher. I actually understand what he’s saying.”

 

They glance at each other in surprise, finding the compliments extremely unexpected.

 

“What, did you two make a deal to only say nice things?” Jinyoung teases them, whiskers at the corner of his eyes. “Jaebum hyung, do you have any dinner plans? Want to go eat with us?”

 

“Uh – sure,” Jaebum says uncertainly.

 

“Oh… don’t mind our car, haha…” Jinyoung scratches his head nervously, having completely forgotten that it must look like a piece of junk compared to Jaebum’s.

 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s cool,” Jaebum smiles reassuringly.

 

Bambam relinquishes the passenger’s seat for Jaebum to sit in and crawls to the safety of the back. He’s somewhat relieved that Jinyoung and Jaebum have a lot to talk about, so all he has to do is stay quiet until they hit the restaurant. They run on and on about their mutual friends, their classes, and their current research. Basically everything Bambam has no clue about.

 

He rests his head by the corner of his seat, next to the window. Bambam watches the streets blur by with disinterest, eventually pulling out a lip balm when he’s tired of licking his dry lips and raking on the little piece of skin.

 

Bambam doesn’t know it, but Jaebum can see him clearly through the side mirror.

 

-

 

(Jinyoung drops one of his chopsticks. “Ugh. Can you get me another one?” He ducks under the table to grab it.

 

He meant it for Bambam, but Jaebum reaches for the stand of utensils too.

 

Their hands touch, and they both jump back as if the contact burned. Jaebum’s elbow hits the glass of water, and before they know it, the spill runs down the table and onto Jinyoung’s hunched back.

 

“What the _fuck_ – AH!” Jinyoung bumps his head as he gets back up.

 

Bambam laughs so hard he nearly cries, which makes Jinyoung purse his lips in pretend-anger and reach over the table to choke him.

 

Bambam only catches the end of Jaebum’s laughter after recovering from Jinyoung’s chokehold, but he notes that it’s a very nice smile. He looks friendlier like that.)

 

-

 

“Baaaaaambaaaaaaam,” Yugyeom drawls, head on his desk, watching Bambam pack up his stuff. “Let’s go to the park.”

 

“And do what?” Bambam asks.

 

Chan twirls around with lightning speed. “You’re free?”

 

Bambam nods. “It’s Tuesday, I should be okay.”

 

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

 

“Chan, we go to school together every day,” Bambam raises an eyebrow with amusement.

 

“Yeah, and my back faces you the entire time. We haven’t – gone out.” Chan coughs once.

 

Yugyeom looks at Chan weirdly for a second before rising up to his full height. “Dunno yet, but we can go get ice choco.” His eyes practically glitter with excitement.

 

“Then let’s go.” Bambam considers putting his textbook in his backpack for a moment, but thinks it would be too heavy.

 

“Do you need help?” Chan asks, although he’s already grabbing Bambam’s books out of his hands while saying it.

 

“Oh – thanks,” Bambam smiles softly. He thinks nothing of it when Chan forces a cough again, face turned the other way.

 

-

 

(Strangely enough… Bambam runs into Jaebum at the convenience store after losing rock paper scissors.

 

“Hyung?”

 

Jaebum stiffens for a second, then, relaxes. “Hi,” he says quietly. He looks at the snacks in Bambam’s hands. “Out with your friends?”

 

Bambam nods once, looking up at Jaebum innocently.

 

“C’mere. I’ll pay for them.”

 

He trails behind Jaebum like a kitten, view obscured by his broad shoulders. Bambam stares at them while Jaebum buys his things, thinking about how nice it might be to lean on them.

 

“Here,” Jaebum hands him a small plastic bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

“I’ll see you,” Bambam promises.

 

He walks out of the store, and doesn’t realize how hard his heart is pounding until he reaches the park.)

 

-

 

Wednesdays are for review, and Bambam is stumped when he sees a question on material from three weeks ago.

 

 _Oh no_ , he thinks, pencil stilling in his hand. It’s worse when he can recognize that it’s familiar, but can’t for the life of him pull up the answer. It makes him feel stupid – like he’s been negligent, not working hard enough when he has goals he needs to achieve.

 

Bambam takes in a deep breath and fills in the circle for a random answer.

 

He feels like a disappointment when he sees Jaebum crossing out the question with a red pen, marking it wrong. Bambam tenses in his seat and keeps his gaze down.

 

He looks so small, so sad, something twists inside Jaebum’s chest.

 

Jaebum studies him for a moment, and then leans in to hand him back his work. “Let’s find the answer together.”

 

Bambam breathes in, out. His black hair falls over his pretty eyes. Jaebum gets the urge to brush them away, but doesn’t act on it.

 

-

 

(“Thanks, hyung! I think I got it now –!” When Bambam turns to Jaebum beside him, he finds that their faces are barely inches apart. Their eyes widen at the same time, and Jaebum jerks out of his chair so abruptly it falls over.

 

Bambam freezes, expression still stricken with shock.

 

And now the bedroom is thick with tension, made awkward and uncomfortable by both of their extreme reactions. They stare at each other for a long time, until –

 

“Can I use the restroom?”

 

“Yeah sure, go ahead.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Bambam speedwalks out of there and locks himself in the bathroom down the hallway. It's quiet aside from his ragged breathing, and it takes a long time before Bambam hears Jaebum pick up the chair upright. It scrapes against his wooden floor.)

 

-

 

There's something _seriously weird_ between the two of them that Bambam can't wrap his head around. There's no reason for them to be acting like this, even if they technically have a teacher and student relationship. But Bambam isn't this tense around any other teacher at school (unless he's trying to hide a whole damn lunch box and spoon in the middle of Korean history. Trust Yugyeom and Chan to drag him into stupid challenges). Besides, Jaebum is his hyung's friend – shouldn't that fact make it easier for them to be comfortable with each other?

 

Bambam wouldn't say he struggles with making friends either, at least not in Seoul. He's decently popular and surrounded by friends who are, in his opinion, even cooler. Chan produces music in his free time and Yugyeom is a part of a well-known dance crew. Yerin and Jimin always kill it at the karaoke, and Bambam's sure that at least one of them will get noticed and signed by a record company soon.

 

Jinyoung drops him off on Friday, and he's determined to change their relationship. Or at least try to.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Bambam's fingers curl in his lap.

 

Jaebum tears his eyes away from his own textbook. It's an efficient set up. The two of them share Jaebum's large desk, such that Jaebum can do his own work while Bambam reviews his notes one last time before setting up the timer and taking a mock exam. It makes sense for Jaebum to make use of the downtime when he doesn't have to teach. “Of course. What is it?” He looks over at Bambam's spread out notes, under the impression that Bambam wants some clarification on a math problem.

 

“What do you do? Other than teach me.”

 

Jaebum's eyes flicker with surprise. “Oh,” he says. He glances at Bambam, and then looks away. “Like what? My major?”

 

“Sure,” Bambam shrugs. He'll take anything out of Jaebum, really.

 

“I'm a fourth year in chemical engineering.”

 

Bambam blinks at him, waiting for him to continue – until he realizes maybe he was supposed to be impressed. The weight of Jaebum's major kind of just flew over his head. “Oh! Cool, cool,” Bambam nods enthusiastically.

 

Jaebum gives him a small smile with amused eyes, probably seeing straight through Bambam's act. “Boring, huh?”

 

“No – I just –!” Bambam feels the heat of embarrassment rise up his neck. “That's very broad. I don't really know what engineers do, other than they're smart.”

 

“That's not true; I don't know what I'm doing half the time.”

 

Bambam scrunches up his nose distastefully. “Don't lie. You're just trying to make me feel better. If Jinyoung hyung admires you, you must be a genius.”

 

Jaebum just smiles at him and doesn't say anything else. He's about to go back to his book but Bambam won't let him get the chance. Bambam's going to be bold. He's going to attack Jaebum with the unexpected, and _surely_ that's going to keep his attention.

 

“Jaebum hyung, do you not like me?”

 

Jaebum stills for a second before his eyes begin to widen. “What? No – of course I like you.”

 

Bambam shifts in his chair to face him. “But you never talk to me.”

 

“I don’t know what to say.”

 

“You don’t even look at me,” Bambam frowns, tilting his head to directly enter Jaebum’s line of sight.

 

(Jaebum swallows.)

 

“But I do.”

 

(Their eyes meet, and Bambam is taken aback by the clarity in Jaebum’s eyes. It’s a lot more intense than he anticipated, and now – now, Bambam’s nervous.)

 

“Well… you don’t look at me when _I_ look at you.” Bambam takes Jaebum’s silence as admission. “Are you shy?”

 

“No…”

 

“Then let’s get closer,” Bambam declares and leans in, only for Jaebum to bend backwards just to avoid him. “See!” Bambam points at him accusingly. “ _This_ is weird! You can just admit that you don’t like me, my feelings won’t be hurt.”

 

Well. His stomach drops as he says it, so maybe his feelings are a little hurt.

 

“Sorry – I just – can’t help the way I react,” Jaebum tightens his jaw. Then, he relaxes and comes back to his normal position. “Sorry. Don’t worry, Bambam. I do like you. Otherwise I wouldn’t keep tutoring you.”

 

Bambam considers it for a moment. He supposes it’s true; Jaebum definitely doesn’t need the money, as he seems to be able to afford this nice house and car all on his own. If anything, he’s only taking the money because Jinyoung insists on having a fair transaction.

 

“Okay,” Bambam says slowly. “Then do you hate physical contact?”

 

Jaebum furrows his eyebrows. “I wouldn’t say I hate it.”

 

Bambam has no idea what prompted him to do this but – he grabs Jaebum’s hand. He _definitely_ does _not_ look at Jaebum’s face for his reaction. “Then this is okay?”

 

The longer Jaebum stays quiet, the more anxious and embarrassed Bambam gets.

 

Holy shit. Why did he do that. Why did he do that. Whydidhedothatwhydidhedothatwhy –

 

“…This is okay,” Jaebum murmurs under his breath.

 

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They end up holding hands for two hours. It must’ve been two hours because the only time they break apart is when Jinyoung rings the doorbell to take Bambam home, wondering aloud why Bambam didn’t reply to his text. Bambam says he was busy.

 

They held hands for two hours and Bambam has no idea why neither of them let go. His hand even started to cramp up from staying in the same position for so long, and he thought, _well if I’m cramping up then he must be cramping up too, so he’ll let go soon_. But contrary to his predictions, Jaebum didn’t let go. A while after, he even flipped their positions and lightly laced their fingers together to make it more comfortable. Aside from his left arm, Bambam was tense everywhere else.

 

Bambam timed himself for his test, but he didn’t concentrate, and Jaebum didn’t go over the answers with him either, looking dazed as he took the papers. Again, they didn’t talk, and they didn’t look at each other.

 

Bambam can’t really consider this progress.

 

This isn’t okay. This is…

 

Weird.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-

 

(“…You look hot.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“No, idiot, you look like you’re running a fever,” Jinyoung flicks his forehead.

 

“Ow!” Bambam rubs the sore spot with a glare.

 

“Are you feeling sick?” Jinyoung has no right to look concerned like that when he just flicked Bambam for no reason.

 

“No – it’s. Hot in here.” Bambam rolls the window down and sticks his face in the wind.)

 

-

 

The next tutoring session Bambam goes to, he has no idea what to expect. And that makes him a little afraid.

 

But it turns out he has nothing to worry about, because Jaebum is actually a little bit more open about himself, even initiating some personal conversations. It’s… very different from what Bambam is used to. He can’t act like a total goofball like he does with his friends, and he can’t be too bratty either, like with Jinyoung. Jaebum is older, but it doesn’t feel quite right to be bowing his head down in respect or anything like that. They’re still testing the waters, trying to find what kind of dynamic to settle on.

 

One thing for sure though, is that Bambam can be completely honest with Jaebum, even telling him things he would never tell Jinyoung. Because – well. He can’t just go up to Jinyoung and suddenly tell him that he’s not sure about going to college after all the effort that Jinyoung has put into making sure that he does, right? Jaebum’s bedroom is a nice, secluded space away from everyone else’s expectations.

 

Yeah.

 

It’s nice, if he ignores the charged atmosphere that sometimes arises seemingly out of thin air. Even the most mundane, simplest things can set it off: being caught staring, not looking away after being caught, watching each other’s movements, wetting dry lips –

 

The microwave beeps, pulling Bambam out of his thoughts.

 

“Hyung, it’s done.”

 

Jaebum puts his phone away and comes next to Bambam by the microwave. Bambam pulls out the heated mug and nudges it towards Jaebum. The entire kitchen smells like chocolate now. Halfway through today’s lesson, Bambam got distracted by a polaroid on the wall, surprised he never noticed it before despite being here so many times. It might be because he never dared to look around, so now everything and anything in Jaebum’s room is interesting to him. Jaebum plucked it off the wall and explained that it was a picture of a morning hike up Bukhansan, a mountain north of Seoul. That led to him pulling out more pictures, and soon enough they weren’t studying at all.

 

Jaebum asked him if he wanted a snack and led him to the kitchen, pulling a box of mug brownies from the cupboard with a sparkle in his eyes.

 

It was so cute, how could Bambam say no?

 

Jaebum nudges the cup back and plops a spoon to go inside of it as well. “You can have the first one.” He pops the second mug into the microwave and sets it for a minute and a half.

 

Bambam digs into the center and takes out a decently sized scoop, delighted to see that it's still fudgy in the middle. Not bad for a microwaved cake. He blows on it gently and then blinks at it in consideration. He turns the spoon towards Jaebum.

 

“Ah?”

 

Jaebum sucks in a breath, looking at the spoon before drawing his gaze up to Bambam's sweet face.

 

Suddenly, Bambam feels – shy. “Mn, no? Never mind –!”

 

Jaebum grabs his wrist, eliciting a gasp from Bambam. His grip on the spoon weakens in surprise, but it's a miracle that he manages to keep it steady as Jaebum takes the bite, mouth enveloping the warm cake.

 

When he lets go, there's still a bit of chocolate left on the metal.

 

“It's good,” Jaebum says, chewing slowly. The movement accentuates his sharp jawline, his Adam’s apple when he swallows.

 

“Oh,” Bambam says absentmindedly. Out of habit, he brings the spoon to his mouth and licks it clean. The dark chocolate is closer to bitter than sweet, but he finds it to be a good flavor. Only when the deed is done does he realize the implications of his action.

 

Jaebum is staring at him intensely, and once again, Bambam finds himself trapped by his gaze.

 

Time seems to freeze as Bambam looks back helplessly, completely enraptured by his black eyes. It’s so _dark_ , void of any dimension that it draws Bambam in with a twisted curiosity even though he can clearly sense the danger behind them. Why does Jaebum look at him like this sometimes? Why does the air feel so thick and heavy when it happens? What does Jaebum want? Is it something Bambam can give?

 

The microwave beeps loudly. The sound is so sudden and shrill to his ears that Bambam jumps, genuinely scared. His heart pounds wildly, and it shakes him up enough to drop his spoon with a clang on the tiles. His hand flies over his chest futilely.

 

Jaebum closes the distance between them, eyebrows etched together in concern. His hands rest gently on Bambam's hunched shoulders. “Bambam? Are you okay?”

 

His touch makes it better – but simultaneously worse. A shiver runs up his spine because _whoa_ , Jaebum is really, _really_ close and they've never been within each other's personal space like this, not even with that strange hand-holding episode and now – Bambam finds that he can’t calm down. His breathing quickens, and he needs something to hold on to. It would probably be best if the thing he holds onto _isn’t_ Jaebum but he’s the closest thing within reach right now. Bambam tentatively grabs onto the hem of Jaebum’s shirt, and that’s surprisingly more than enough to feel secure.

 

Jaebum seems to think he needs… more. And so he pulls Bambam forward and wraps his arms around him, one hand placing pressure onto the small of his back, pushing their bodies flush together, and the other hand rubbing soothing circles around his shoulder blades.

 

Bambam gasps, his heart now racing with another kind of thrill. His cheeks redden at an alarming rate as he feels himself pressed against Jaebum’s warm, solid body. It’s. A lot to handle, all at once. He doesn’t know where to place his hands, nor does he know what he’s supposed to do with the fact that Jaebum smells _really_ good. He smells like what Bambam would imagine a spring rain to be like. Fresh and crisp, a slight earthiness to it. Bambam sighs softly into his neck, feeling like he could sink right into Jaebum.

 

(If he feels a skipped heartbeat that isn’t his own, if he feels an arm curl more tightly around his waist than a friendly hug should… Bambam doesn’t say anything about it. He’s counting on Jaebum not to say anything about the way he sneaks his fingertips down Jaebum’s broad back, the way his shoulder is _exactly_ as comfortable as he’d imagined and possibly even better.)

 

“It’s okay, I’m here.”

 

Bambam makes a small sound from his throat to show him he’s listening. He’s – fine. Aside from the heat in his stomach and the flutter in his chest, he’s fine. Bambam just doesn’t want to let go yet. But, he should.

 

“Thank you, hyung…” Bambam lifts his head up, which naturally creates a bit of distance between them. Although, he might be generous by even calling it some “distance.” It’s not like Jaebum has let go of him yet. Bambam keeps his eyes down, staring at some spot on Jaebum’s neck because he’s too afraid to look at him directly.

 

“Are you easily frightened by sudden noises?” Jaebum asks gently. By the way the sound reaches his ears, Jaebum must be only inches away from his face.

 

“No,” Bambam answers shyly. “This has never happened before. I don’t know why I… uhm…” He taps on Jaebum’s upper arm, signalling him to let go.

 

Jaebum retracts in a quick, jerky motion, taking almost two steps back. “ _Sorry_.”

 

“It's okay,” Bambam bites his lip. “You can touch me whenever you want.”

 

Conflict makes itself apparent on Jaebum's face. “You don't mean that,” he utters, almost in disbelief.

 

Bambam frowns, confused. Why wouldn't he mean that? Before he can ask, Jaebum picks up the fallen spoon and places it in the sink. He grabs two new ones for them and takes the second mug out of the microwave.

 

“Let's get back to your lesson after this.”

 

Bambam feels vaguely disappointed, but agrees.

 

-

 

Only, it's past half past seven, and Bambam hasn't heard from Jinyoung at all. It's not quite like his brother to be late without a warning.

 

“Nothing?” Jaebum asks again.

 

Bambam shakes his head as he refreshes his messages one more time. “Nothing,” he confirms.

 

Jaebum sighs inwardly. “Well, alright. Are you hungry? We can have dinner while we wait for Jinyoung to pick you up.”

 

Jaebum whips up a simple dinner, just rice and eggs and an assortment of side dishes served straight from the Tupperware because there will be less dishes to do. Bambam appreciates it nonetheless. For some reason, food always tastes better when he doesn't have to make it himself.

 

Around eight, Bambam finally gets a call.

 

“ _Bammie!_ ”

 

“Hyung, where are you?” Bambam gets straight to the point.

 

“ _The car wouldn't start and I had to wait around for_ somebody _to help me jumpstart it_ – _but then I ran over a nail and now the front tire is flat_.”

 

The conversation is loud enough for Jaebum to hear, so the two of them look at each other at the same time.

 

“That doesn't sound good.”

 

“ _No shit it isn't_ – _I'm too poor for this_!” Jinyoung yells, distressed.

 

Bambam tries not to snicker into the mic of his phone. It's awful, because anything that happens to the car will inevitably affect him too, but it's just too amusing whenever Jinyoung loses his cool.

 

“ _I'm getting it fixed right now. Is Jaebum hyung there?_ ”

 

“Yeah,” Bambam says and hands his phone over. Jaebum picks it up with his clean hand.

 

“Hello?”

 

“ _Hey! Jaebum hyung, how's it going?_ ”

 

Bambam giggles into his hand. The change in tone was so drastic.

 

“I'm fine. Sorry about your car.”

 

“ _My car_ – _BAMBAM WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PUTTING OUR CALLS ON SPEAKER_?”

 

“I didn't! You're just loud!” Bambam argues, ending it with a little petulant “humph” that hopefully won't be picked up by the mic.

 

“ _Anyway, I don't know when I'll be done. I'm really sorry but can you take care of Bambam until later?_ ”

 

“Sure, don't worry about it.”

 

The call ends in a few more seconds, and there's a stretch of silence that ensues while the two just sit there, letting the information sink in. When Bambam can’t take it anymore, he gets up from his seat and starts collecting the dirty dishes.

 

“Wait – Bambam, sit down. I got it.” Jaebum attempts to grab the rice bowls away.

 

“You cooked,” Bambam explains.

 

“That was hardly anything –!”

 

“Just let me help, hyung.”

 

Jaebum gives in, arms dropping to his sides. The win makes Bambam smile, even if it’s nothing to brag about. There’s not that much to wash anyway, so the chore is done quickly.

 

“What do you usually do after dinner?”

 

Bambam raises an eyebrow. “I study. Jinyoung hyung’s nagging doesn’t leave much room for anything else.”

 

Jaebum smiles sympathetically. “It’s a rough year for everyone your age.”

 

“I guess,” Bambam sighs. “I’d take this over fishing at 3AM.”

 

“Fishing? Really?”

 

Bambam nods. “It’s what Dad does. It’s boring.”

 

Jaebum scratches his head sheepishly. “I actually like fishing.”

 

Bambam stares at him for a moment, and then laughs behind his hand. “For some reason, I’m not surprised!”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“You like trees and rocks,” Bambam thinks of the picture of Jaebum at the mountain. “Fish and water don’t seem too far off the theme.”

 

“It’s fun – especially when you get a big catch.”

 

Bambam thinks of when he used to help out. Come to think of it… he mostly handled the bait and never stuck around long enough by the ice hole to actually catch anything. He would only return from the tasks his dad left for him to do when the bucket was already full of fish. “I’ve never caught anything,” he admits with a tinge of embarrassment.

 

Jaebum’s eyes widen. Then, he takes Bambam’s hand and pulls them back into the bedroom. “Here, let me show you what I’ve caught.”

-

 

At nine, Jinyoung still hasn’t come. Bambam and Jaebum silently work side by side.

 

At ten, Jinyoung texts that the car is fixed and good to go – but that he needs to go on a last-minute errand. It won’t take too long. Bambam is getting tired though, and his school uniform is seriously too uncomfortable to be wearing the whole day. He takes off what he can; better to deal with the cold than to sit in the stiff blazer and vest.

 

At eleven –

 

“Bambam?” Jaebum touches his shoulder.

 

Bambam perks up, opening his eyes wide. Uh – when did they even close? “Oh.” He rubs his eyes and tries to shake himself awake. “Sorry, I’m up.”

 

“No it’s okay. You can take a quick nap before Jinyoung comes.”

 

“Can I?” Bambam asks in a small voice. He’s tired, and pouty, and painfully, painfully cute.

 

“Yeah,” Jaebum assures him after a deep breath. “And you’re cold,” he notes. “Go ahead and bundle up.” He points to his own bed, which has Bambam turning his head to follow the line of sight.

 

Bambam curls his fingers around his thin shirt. “Are you sure?”

 

“I am.”

 

Within minutes, Bambam is tucked into Jaebum’s single-sized bed, the covers pulled all the way up to his nose. He closes his eyes and feels all the fatigue seep out of him. The light that he can sense past his eyelids dim, presumably from Jaebum turning off all the lights aside from the small lamp at his desk. The pillow, the blanket – _everything_ smells like Jaebum. It feels so warm, almost as if Jaebum himself were to wrap his arms around Bambam as he sleeps. Bambam inhales his scent, in and out, until he drifts off into a peaceful dream.

 

-

  
  
  
  


(Jaebum can’t get any work done. No matter how hard he tries, he keeps finding himself staring at the way Bambam’s soft black hair is haloing around his white pillow, and how sweet his plush, pink lips look. Bambam sleeps with one hand tucked beneath his cheek, squishing it adorably, while the other hand hangs open nearly at the edge of the bed. He’s all curled up, and Jaebum can even see the rise and fall of his breathing with how closely he’s paying attention to him.

 

He finds his feet by the foot of the bed, hovering above Bambam’s defenseless figure. He bends down, the back of his hand centimeters away from caressing his cheek.

 

Jaebum straightens up abruptly, angry with himself. He leaves the room quietly, and sits in the living room for the rest of the night.)

  
  
  


-

 

Jinyoung rings the doorbell and it barely gets past half a ring before the door whips open. He blinks at Jaebum in surprise, but then quickly remembers he needs to govel on the ground for forgiveness.

 

“Sorry!” Jinyoung hangs his head low, hands clapped together in apology. “I know, it’s really, _really_ late, I’ve just been running into trouble after trouble today and it _sucks_ – oh, not that I’m saying having to look after my brother _doesn’t_ suck but –!”

 

“It wasn’t bad. You’re here now.” Jaebum moves out of the way, letting Jinyoung in. Jinyoung takes off his shoes on the mat.

 

“Hey, Bambam –!”

 

“–He’s sleeping,” Jaebum cuts him off with a sharp whisper.

 

Jinyoung’s mouth hangs open awkwardly. “Oh. Okay. Sorry.”

 

Jaebum seems to notice that that was weird too, and looks away, scratching his head. He makes no further comment on that. “He’s inside.”

 

Jinyoung looks to where a dim light is glowing from inside a room and nods. He walks towards it and is surprised for the second time. Huh. Jaebum actually let Bambam use his bed. Jinyoung didn’t know they were that comfortable with each other.

 

He comes over and shakes Bambam awake gently.

 

“Bammie,” he calls. “Let’s go.”

 

Bambam shuffles around a little bit before his eyes peep open. “…Hyung?” He blinks. “Oh, _hyung_.” His voice drops.

 

“What,” Jinyoung puts his hands on his hips. “Are you _that_ disappointed to see me?”

 

Bambam whines a little and shoves his face into the pillow. “Don’t wanna get up…”

 

“You can sleep in the car, c’mon.” Jinyoung digs his hands under Bambam’s armpits, like a baby. “You can’t intrude on Jaebum hyung’s home like this.”

 

Sighing, Bambam gets up.

 

“Your jacket,” Jinyoung reminds him.

 

Bambam plucks it off the chair before shuffling out. He bumps into Jaebum in the hallway. “Thank you, hyung. Good night.” He tucks his hair behind his ear, oblivious to the way Jaebum follows his movement.

 

“Good night, Bambam. Jinyoung.”

 

“Sorry about this!” Jinyoung says one last time on the way out the door. “I’ll buy you lunch!”

 

Jaebum waves them goodbye, closing the door when they drive out of sight.

 

-

  
  
  
  


(The unmade bed still carries Bambam’s shape. It’s cold by the time Jaebum comes out of the shower.

 

He’s scared to dive into it.

 

Eventually, he does – he has to. And _God_ , it’s agonizing.

 

His own bed smells like Bambam now. It’s so different from his own, all light and rosy.

  
  
  


Jaebum won’t ever, _ever_ speak of the way his hand slips past his waistband.)

  
  
  


-

 

Two days after Bambam’s birthday, all his friends throw him a late party since they didn’t get a chance to do so on his actual day. Bambam had spent his real birthday with Jinyoung then, and they both called home so Mom and Dad can sing “Happy Birthday” for him, along with a promise to go home on the closest break.  

 

Jinyoung has plans to go out with his friends too, so it’s perfect.

 

“Do you need me to drop you off anywhere before I go?” Jinyoung asks for the last time.

 

“I told you, Chan’s picking me up.” Bambam preens in the mirror, smacking his lips together. He hasn’t been able to dress up in a long time, so even this process of picking his clothes and makeup is fun to him. His coral tint matches the blush high on his cheekbones, and his eye makeup is matte and brown, used only to accentuate his already big eyes. The knit pink sweater he’s wearing has a wide neck to show off his collarbones and long sleeves that nearly reach his fingertips.

 

Jinyoung can’t help but smile at the color. It reminds him of the one he bought for Bambam way back when, although this one is of much better quality. He’s glad that Bambam is already wearing his gift.

 

“Chan? Since when did he get his license?”

 

“Last week.”

 

“Last week?!” Jinyoung’s eyes bulge. “And you’d trust him with your life?!”

 

Bambam laughs. “Well, he passed the test, didn’t he?”

 

“I don’t know about this.” Jinyoung pulls an exaggerated face of worry in the mirror. Bambam rolls his eyes.

 

“Hyung, stop.”

 

“Okay, okay. Have fun, stay safe.”

 

Bambam’s phone beeps with a notification. “Oh, he’s here.”

 

“I’ll bring him in.”

 

“Thanks!” Bambam opens a box of accessories. Maybe this simple moon pendant?

 

Jinyoung’s socked feet pad down to the front door. He pulls it open, and there Chan is, beaming at him with his styled blond hair.

 

“‘Afternoon, hyung!” He chirps with a wide smile that makes his eyes nearly disappear.

 

 _Aw_ , Jinyoung thinks fondly. “Hey there. Bambam’s almost –!”

 

“–Done!” Bambam rushes out. “I’m done! Let’s go!”

 

Jinyoung turns around to see Chan’s mouth hanging open in awe, eyes transfixed on Bambam. He snaps over to Bambam and smirks, wiggling his eyebrows. “ _Ohhh_.”

 

Bambam looks at Jinyoung weirdly. “What?” He puts on his shoes and hooks his arm around Chan’s. “C’mon man, we’re late! We gotta go get Yugyeom’s dumb ass.” He pulls Chan outside, who’s still completely dazed. “Bye hyung! I’ll see you later.”

 

“Bye,” Jinyoung chuckles.

 

After changing and grabbing his keys and wallet, Jinyoung sets out to go meet his friends too.

 

-

 

“Wow,” Mingyu marvels. “You look great!”

 

Bambam beams at the compliment. He’s been getting a lot today, even from friends who normally roast him for breathing. It makes him really happy. “Thanks!”

 

“Happy belated birthday,” Jaehyun pats his back.

 

“Thank you, thank you.”

 

With such a large party including friends from neighboring high schools that he doesn’t get to see too often, the only way for them to efficiently hang out is to basically hijack a bowling alley. The employee’s reaction when they keep pooling in, one by one, is too hilarious to keep quiet. They split into two teams, to which Yugyeom calls dibs on Bambam.

 

“BFF rights!” He proudly declares.

 

Bambam leans into him, giggling behind a sweater paw. Everyone stares, although Bambam can’t tell why.

 

Chan ends up on the other team, to which Minghao groans, “ _Great_. We’re losing.”

 

-

 

Jinyoung chugs down half his beer, releasing with a refreshed “Ah.” Nothing quite like drinking in the middle of the day with grilled pork belly. “That _really_ hits the spot.”

 

“You sound like an old man,” Jackson says while trying to shove a lettuce leaf and a piece of meat too big for his mouth.

 

“I feel like one, especially with the way Professor Kim keeps making me run column extractions –!”

 

“–aaaand, no one cares, NEXT!” Jackson points his chopsticks at Mark, who minds his own business. “What have you been up to, Markiepooh?”

 

Mark’s eyebrow twitches.

 

“AND,” Jinyoung asserts his dominance by continuing, “it has been ROUGH.”

 

“Must be tiresome,” Jaebum comments.

 

Jinyoung looks at him gratefully. “ _Thank you_ , hyung.” He glares at Jackson. “See, this is what a supportive friend sounds like.”

 

Jackson, offended, clutches his chest dramatically. “ _What_. What about all those times I bought you coffee out of the goodness of my own heart?”

 

Jinyoung puckers his lips thoughtfully. Okay, point taken.

 

But Jackson continues. “What about all those times I lent you my only pencil right before an exam we’re both taking? What about when I walked all the way to Bambam’s high school for you because your co-worker at the convenience store failed to show up?”

 

“Okay, Jackson, sorry.”

 

“What about –!”

 

Mark sticks a scalding piece of meat into his mouth, effectively shutting him up. Jackson spits it out onto his plate. “Hot hot hot hot hot!”

 

“Oh!” Jinyoung takes out his phone. “Bambam’s birthday was two days ago. You should see what I got him,” he boasts proudly. “He looks super cute in it.”

 

Quietly, “It was Bambam’s birthday…?” Jaebum mumbles to himself.

 

Jinyoung shows everyone the picture. Mark stops chewing and actually moves to grab the phone from Jinyoung’s hand.

 

“Is that really Bambam? He looks so different the last time I've seen him.” Mark swipes. Jinyoung’s lucky he’s so boring and only has family pictures. Meaning Bambam pictures.

 

Jinyoung furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

 

Jackson scoots in to get a better look. “Look at him! He's all grown up now.”

 

Mark nods. “He was like, right here,” he puts a hand to the middle of his chest, indicating Bambam’s height from years ago.

 

Jaebum looks between Mark and Jackson uncomfortably. “You’ve all met him before?”

 

“Oh yeah, when they just moved here. You hadn’t met Jinyoung yet, let alone Bambam.”

 

Jinyoung snatches his phone back, cradling it protectively. “Stop that, he’s a _baby_. He’s not even nineteen yet.”

 

“Not a child either. He’s so pretty now I bet all the boys in his class are tripping all over him,” Jackson cackles.

 

Jaebum’s chair scrapes against the floor as he gets up. They all stare at him. “I – I gotta go, sorry.”

 

-

 

Chan trips on thin air right after rolling the ball and sending it straight to the gutter.

 

“Oh, come _on_ , Bang Chan!” Minghao practically screeches. Mingyu doesn’t even care that their team is losing – this is much too amusing.

 

Yugyeom and Jungkook high-five. There’s no way they’ll lose now.

 

Chan makes the walk of shame back while the girls laugh at him. Jihyo seems to be in tears as she clutches her stomach. Jimin is straight up mocking his fall, eliciting more laughter. It’s all in good nature though; Chan is laughing too, even with his red cheeks.

 

“Whoops,” he shrugs, scratching the back of his head.

 

Bambam is lying on his side on one of the couches, cracking up and throwing his thin legs around. He only sits up when Chan approaches him, taking the seat beside him.

 

“Oh my god,” Bambam wheezes. He massages his cheeks. “My abs and cheeks _hurt_. Thanks for the free win, Chan.” Bambam is not that great of a bowler himself, but he’s _miles_ ahead of Chan at this rate.

 

“Er – you’re welcome!” Chan grins, and then watches as Bambam brightens up the room with his smile.

 

Suddenly, Jungkook falls on the couch, who falls on Chan – who barely manages to catch himself before falling on Bambam completely. Still, Bambam lands on his side, and Chan’s arms are braced around his head to support his weight. Their faces are inches apart.

 

Chan jerks away, throwing himself out even if it means he lands on the floor. But it’s too late, everyone else has already seen what just happened.

 

Catcalls erupt the bowling alley.

 

Both of them blush heavily, but for very different reasons.

 

Chan’s open secret has been disclosed to Bambam.

 

Bambam…

 

With a shock and a hammering heart, Bambam has made the connection between Chan’s and Jaebum’s reactions. They’re one and the same.

 

Their friends continue to tease them. Bambam doesn’t really pay attention to what’s being said, but when he looks at Chan’s embarrassed and mortified face, he feels sorry for him.

 

“Stop!” Bambam yells over the crowd. Everything abruptly settles down. He lifts himself up and offers Chan a hand. Chan takes it, and gets up on his feet. “I want some snacks, want to come with?” It’s an opportunity for Chan to get away and recollect himself.

 

“Yeah,” he murmurs.

 

Bambam nods and hooks their arms together. As always. “Be right back, everyone!” He calls cheerfully, but it’s contrasted by the glare he sends his friends for being so insensitive.

 

-

 

 (“I like you,” Chan confesses underneath the neon lights. He’s really got no other option. Might as well say it outright.

 

Bambam smiles sadly. “Thank you, Chan. I appreciate your feelings. Truly.”

 

“You like someone else.” Chan states with certainty.

 

Bambam fidgets. “Yeah.”

 

Silence.

 

Chan takes a deep breath. “Well. If they ever hurt your feelings, you tell me right away, okay?”

 

Bambam kind of tears up, but laughs to conceal it. “Chan, he’ll crush you.” He thinks of Jaebum, his strong arms, his broad shoulders.

 

“I’m not going down without a fight.” Chan puffs his chest proudly. “What are friends for, huh?” He holds out his fist.

 

Bambam wipes his eyes. He’s not crying. “Dummy.” He completes the secret handshake.)

 

-

  
  
  


Later that day, Bambam doesn’t go home. He goes to Jaebum’s house.

  
  
  


-

 

The doorbell rings, which confuses and shocks Jaebum. He isn’t expecting anyone today. He doesn’t want to see anyone at all, really, he needs all the time in the world to punish himself for his immoral, _inexcusable_ feelings. He knows how wrong he is. He knows better than anyone else. He’s been trying _so hard_ but it feels like he’s been set up since the beginning –

 

It rings again, and again and again and again – like someone is impatiently pressing on the button outside.

 

Jaebum isn’t in the mood for this.

 

He leaves his bedroom angrily, ready to rip open a new one in whoever’s behind the door –

 

“Bambam?” Jaebum pales. His stomach twists as he immediately looks past Bambam for any sign of Jinyoung, or anyone else who can see them.

 

“Hyung.”

 

With just one word, Jaebum’s attention is immediately tunnel-visioned on Bambam. His grip on the door knob hardens until his knuckles turn white. Bambam looks so pretty today. He’s _always_ pretty, but today he’s all dolled up, with gloss on his lips and delicate clavicles on display. His eyes are sharp with determination, but the mole right beneath his right eye softens it up with cuteness.

 

“You like me.”

 

Jaebum stops breathing.

 

His throat constricts as he watches his worst fear unfold right before him.

 

But suddenly, Bambam tip-toes and grabs his face, pressing their lips together hard.

 

-

  
  
  
  


Their worlds align.

  
  
  
  


-

 

Unknowingly, Jaebum reciprocates the kiss without inhibitions – he pulls Bambam against him, and _melts, sinks, falls in love_ with the soft, sweet taste of Bambam’s lips.

 

They’re still out in the open, where anyone passing by can see.

 

-

 

“No one has to know,” Bambam whispers, staring straight into Jaebum’s eyes. He’s well aware. “I won’t tell anyone.”

 

-

  
  
  
  


Jaebum risks everything.

 

He takes Bambam into his room and unravels him selfishly, biting into his golden skin and running his hands over anywhere Bambam will let him.

 

He imprints everything into his heart – the way Bambam pants his name, the way Bambam arches his back into him, the way he flushes pink when Jaebum enters him, the way his spread thighs quiver around Jaebum’s hips when he comes –

 

It’s madness.

 

He doesn’t regret any of it.

  
  
  
  


-

 

Many, _many_ months later, Jinyoung realizes that it’s Jaebum’s hoodie that Bambam left in the car.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> y'all.......again, I'm TIREDT /SCREAMS. 
> 
> This was left on a bit of an open ending /eyes emoji/ because guess what......MY ASS WAS TOO AMBITIOUS. It would've been WAY too long, I would've NEVER finished in time. (I hate to admit a certain someone was right, that it would've been 30k, /WHEEZES.) I literally cut out the second half of the plot, but I did try to compromise by making it a story about their beginning. Idk. Maybe if you bully me enough you can get me to write a sequel but HAHAHAHAHA. /runs.
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this! Comments and kudos really make my day! :)
> 
> Yell at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/tremmy_chii) or [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/tremmy_chii)!


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